Written December 25th, 12.49 AM, 2009. About nothing and nobody in particular. ^.^
I want to believe in something for the sake of purpose, of significance.
Always in the back of my mind, you are there.
Keeping me somewhat intact, preventing me from drifting away
Into a fabric of loneliness, each thread an interlaced depression.
Reasoning with life doesn't work anymore, not for me at least.
Not since I got here, not since I effectively eliminated you from my life.
Now it's all about going about daily routines mindlessly, aimlessly,
And sometimes, every now and then, after another day in shades of grey,
I sit back in this chair, in this room, late at night, and my thoughts cease.
For three seconds, I feel like the world is spinning without me - Forever.
For three seconds, I am completely frozen in time, and everything loses its meaning.
An overwhelming sensation brings me back to my chair, to this room, this white noise,
And my mind sends one single signal throughout my body, activating one emotion.
Tilting my head back, looking at the ceiling...
I feel insignificant.
Insignificant in this city, this society, this world. Insignificant to you.
We used to be close. We used to pop in movie after movie throughout entire nights,
Just talking about everything and nothing, endless sentences and verbalized thoughts escaping our lips,
Not paying attention to any of the movies for one second. We only had time for us.
We used to philosophize on that mountain behind your house.
Gazing up at the night sky, we discussed the origin of human emotions.
Are our emotions just a product of what chemicals and signals do to our minds?
Or are these bodies a reflection of some tormented soul inside of us, giving us a deformed purpose?
You, the rational, scientific person that you are, think we're just another species trying to survive.
I'm beginning to agree. I can't find reason anywhere anymore.
You really loved those stars up in the sky. I loved listening to you talk about them.
Can you explain supernova's one last time?
Look at that star in the corner of your eye. In that mirror of yours, do you see it?
It used to shine for me.
Ernie... Let's be friends?
Ernie... Let's be friends?
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